I will be 58 years old in 50 days. It’s an unfathomable ‘age’ because I never expected to achieve it. Severe depression from the horrible circumstances of my upbringing took years to overcome,

I never expected to mate, but found someone who could use me and allowed her to do so for fifteen years. The abandonment by my child and his mother added to the depression of being a caregiver to my own bitter father who died very much alone at 90.

The place he moved me to now prevents the arrival of others with abandon and seeks racist isolation, forcing me to commit to its agenda, trapping me here or pushing me to abandon it.

My mind has been my only true friend.