The law regarding suicide:
you’re allowed to succeed
you’re not allowed to fail
you’re not allowed to succeed.
you’re not allowed to try.
mtk, SF, 1996
23 Monday Sep 1996
22 Sunday Sep 1996
Posted in poetry
01 Sunday Sep 1996
15 Thursday Aug 1996
The pursuit of types – harmonically convergent patterns – is invariably a looping process which is infinite in scope and variety.
So naming the loop at any given point is dangerous, at worst and wrong (i.e. the path toward falsity) at best.
mtk, SF, 1996
Epilogue
The pursuit of truth cannot involve types or patterns because these are statements of limitation.
07 Wednesday Aug 1996
28 Sunday Jul 1996
15 Monday Jul 1996
04 Saturday May 1996
21 Sunday Apr 1996
Posted in journal entries, S.F.
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12 Tuesday Mar 1996
06 Tuesday Feb 1996
25 Monday Dec 1995
22 Wednesday Nov 1995
15 Wednesday Nov 1995
Posted in clips, conceptual art, journalism, press clips, reviews, S.F.
Tags
*surface, 1995, 95, architecture, art, fashion, Francisco, Karthik, m.t., magazine, mtk, mural, paint, Rigo, Rigo 95, San, thyagarajan, thyagarajian
This was a very disappointing edit and when it appeared, I was enraged. My name was spelled wrong – and it’s the third typo on the page!
The first is in the image where the images of his work are labelled, “(Rigo)” – which isn’t his name, and shows the overactive hand of the newly minted fashion magazine’s editors –
whose next immediate typo is in the HEADLINE – an extra apostrophe where it should be “Maos”. The piece is also edited considerably from what I submitted and the editors took liberties adding and removing text that changed the meaning of full paragraphs. But anyway here is how it ran:
I began a friendship and apprenticeship with Rigo after this November interview, in the year 1996, which lasted ten years.
13 Saturday May 1995
we are all swimming in God’s soup
sometimes we like to splash the others
sometimes to dunk them
even though we know the spoon is coming
Sometimes we lay on our backs in God’s soup,
floating.
(on occasion we can catch His eye)
Sometimes we flag our arms at Him
hoping to be seen
and sometimes, in so doing, we sink
08 Saturday Oct 1994
Posted in Coastal Cali, S.F.
20 Friday Aug 1993
Posted in conceptual art, photography, travel
23 Thursday Apr 1992
Posted in Commentary, protest, San Antonio, self portrait, talks, thoughts, TX
Tags
1992, Al, antonio, april, balance, deforestation, ecology, Gore, Karthik, m.t., mtk, politics, San, Senator, speaking, talk, talks, texas, Trinity, university
Senator Al Gore was on a book tour promoting Earth in the Balance. He hadn’t yet been picked as Bill Clinton’s running mate when I saw him at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas, in April of 1992. He spoke for about forty minutes about the grave responsibility people around the world had to be more conscious of environmental degradation and then allowed for questions. I raised my hand and asked the Senator what he thought about the fact that the United States was the world’s greatest polluter and the greatest abuser of the earth’s resources.
I asked what the Senator thought of an editorial suggestion in the Houston Post that countries with large rainforests like Brazil and Malaysia should be allowed to tax the rest of the world for their usage of the primary resource they produce: clean air. (The idea was that the U.S. should be made to pay these countries not to deforest – the Post editorial had called it an Oxygen Tax).
I suggested to Senator Gore that the Global capitalist system – authored out of the U.S. and Europe – may have been the root cause for much of the irresponsibility he wrote about, quoting then Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohammad, who had that year remarked that “Democracy and free markets are not magic. They do not make backwardness and ignorance disappear.”
In response, Senator Gore asked me if I was from Malaysia.
When I said I was not he replied, “Good – because they’re the worst!” and went on to complain about deforestation of the islands of South East Asia, ignoring the responsibility of facing the economic facts of environmental degradation.
When he’d finished, some grad students in the audience tried to pick up my call for greater responsibility to be placed on the demands of Northern and Western markets, but Senator Gore just didn’t want to get it. While Republican President GHW Bush was the one who’d said he would never apologize for the actions of the U.S.A., whether or not they were wrong, by the early 1990’s the Democrats weren’t much better at owning up.
21 Thursday Nov 1991
05 Tuesday Feb 1991
Tags
1991, Chung, hk, hong, Karthik, King, kong, kowloon, m.t., mansions, mtk, Nathan Road, Shui, Tsa, Tsim
This story begins lying on its back in a small, one- bedroom hole in a creaking, dripping, grey, 18-story building in Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong.
There, on a morning that would turn into a beautiful spring day, I wake up and hear the sound of rats scurrying around in the dark, and the sounds of wheels turning and gears clicking. I hear unnamed sounds.
I get up, pack my stuff, throw it on my back and go down to the first floor of the Chung King Mansions. This volatile, multicultural conglomeration of dirt, sweat and international odors stands just off Nathan Road in Kowloon surrounded by rows of pricy hotels: The Peninsula, The Hilton, The Hong Kong Empire.
The Chung King hostels have been the cheap place to stay for the shoestring traveler since the 1970’s. Other than brief alterations due to fires that have erupted in its corridors over the years, it hasn’t changed.
Out front, there are Indians and Iranians, bearded and red-eyed, sitting on the street railing. Foreigners from every corner of the globe are walking by. The little Chinese guy with the $8.00 USA Todays and Penthouses and Time and Newsweek and Rolling Stone, is unrolling his papers and magazines.
At dawn, the crowd are all hanging around wrapped in cotton, ear-ringed, nose-ringed, tattoed, goateed. They are either leaving for work or just getting in from play. Several of the turbaned Sikhs are asking me if I want a good place to stay or great Indian food or to go to the best restaurant in Chung King. The rest of them hover around the moneychangers offering black market rates. A German couple is buying watches, a Canadian is buying Nikes, a Frenchman is selling perfume. It’s early and a lot of people are just getting going.
Traffic is still light. Light for here. The sidewalks are peppered with people. Bright red doubledecker buses and taxis glide by. There are light, low-lying clouds over the bay. It is a bit dewy, but you can smell the sun behind those drops, burning the clouds away. The blue sky is already cracking through. By 10:00 it will be 30 degrees.
And on this morning, as I look across the street at the Hilton, I see an anachronism. He’s an elderly Chinese man with greying temples under a flat, grey, Maoist cap. His rope buttons are worn and his ancient Chinese clothes are from a time before all of this.
The free port of Hong Kong rises around him. Six major hotels. More foreigners than Chinese. So many shops. Everybody here is either buying or selling. And he, clearly, is not.
He stands in the middle of all this looking completely foreign, and he begins to fight it.
Standing on the corner of Nathan road in front of the Hilton, he is screaming at the top of his lungs probably the only two English words he knows. Probably the two words he learned expressly for this purpose. He is standing on the street corner screaming and throwing his hands up, hitting the sky with his fists and begging:
“Go Back! Go Back! Gooooo Baaaaack! Go Back!”
His voice is cracking now. He cannot keep this up. These two words are booming down the street in the quiet morning calm; kicking back and forth off The Peninsula, off Chung King Mansions, through the corridors and dripping alleyways:
“Go Back! Gooooo Baaaaaack!”
His voice is coarse and harsh now breaking and cracking. And still he screams. It’s been about five minutes and now I’m standing beside him.
He isn’t looking at me. He isn’t looking at anyone. Unfocused, his eyes open and close with the jerking of his head and hands as he puts every ounce of energy into his request.
I stay put and now I am looking at everyone else.
They stare at him, they smile and they continue to walk. Another Chinese man is standing a few feet away clicking in Cantonese and laughing at the old man. A young couple respond to him and they all laugh. A group of white businessmen walks, uninterested. Another man videotapes from across the street.
In front of Chung King, the Indians, Iranians and other foreigners look over for a time and then go about their business. Now they are looking at me. They look long and hard. My pack is slipping. I hitch it up and turn and walk away.
09 Sunday May 1982
Posted in poetry
I don’t get it.
Life’s a joke and I don’t get it.
Everybody else is laughing at its punchline.
But I’m just standing here
and I’m not feeling so fine.
So I nod my head and I smile and laugh,
like I’ve done before with jokes in the past.
I laugh and give a knowing wink just so no one else will think,
that I don’t get it.
Life’s a joke that I don’t get.
But that’s OK, because I fake my way like I’ve done before
and everything’s great and I’m quite safe
until someone comes along and asks, “what’s so funny?”
and so I laugh even harder to stall for time
and as I laugh I think
and then I stop my pointless laughter,
with a sigh winding down and answer:
“Life.”